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Everyone wants to see change in the Body of Messiah, sometimes deep reform or widespread repentance. Yet the problem needing repenting always seems to be with someone else. Some other church. The congregation down the road. We like to think it’s those “big box” churches or those “mainline” denominations which are the cause of all the problems. But most of the time we can look at things right at home to see the cause of the problems. The need for reform. We can look right in our own front doors.
You see we’ve reached a point where the vast majority of believers ignore the man’s role as provider for the home, and more often than that, ignore the woman’s role as homemaker. This is especially strange since the woman’s role in keeping the home is given so straightforwardly in the word of God. In the Brit Chadashah (New Testament) both Titus and Timothy instruct Christian women to be keepers of the home. In Tenach (Hebrew Scriptures) the famed Proverbs 31 paints the picture of the godly woman, and it is the portrait of a homemaker. Yet modern believers would pretend these teachings do not exist. When we speak of disobedience in the Body of Messiah, why do we not speak of this?
These gender roles are not only supported by scripture, but furthermore by natural law. The woman in particular is uniquely suited for caring for the home and raising the children. Men are more suited to ambitious pursuits, and even danger. They have a heated desire to prove themselves, as well as a longing to seek the truth. These are not some old stereotypes, beloved. The common wisdom about men and women’s differences has been supported by study after study in the modern world. We are NOT the same creatures. For example, any man who finds he cannot provide for a home knows he is something less than he should be. Any man handing over his role as provider to a woman knows there is little manhood in it. Similarly, women’s advantage with children and natural need for more protection has changed not the least over the ages. She is the same woman she was ten centuries ago. In fact her DESIRE for those children and her desire for that protection is the very much the same. So as it often does, natural law stands in harmony with and support of what the Bible teaches. Here it teaches that women have a particular role. That is the keeper of the home.
Now unless we want the Bride of Messiah to be nothing more than an ironic phrase, a laugh-out-loud one liner to make children giggle, I suggest we restore the natural and biblical order. You see it’s been torn asunder by us. I realize that restoration for many many people looks so far away it’s almost out of sight. I realize millions of people have plans and money invested in a woman living out her ambitions as if she were a man. Many even have their sense of worth invested in it also. It ALMOST looks like a hopeless situation. Repentance nearly looks lost.
However, every step we take to return to God, will be a part of that repentance. A man and woman who simply sit down and start to rethink their future is a fine start. A woman who has already invested much in a career, who begins to take more time off, and take on more responsibilities in the home, is still a change of direction. Parents who begin to teach their daughters that their future involves a great and noble pursuit in the home are sowing the future seeds for righteousness. Begin now, I believe, and the blessings will overflow in a generation. Let us return to the roles God gives us in His word. Let us repent.
One of the greatest challenges in this repentance in that an entire sense of self and dignity has been attached to many women’s dreams. This is an area where the devil has been most successful. He has diminished our senses of the God-given dignity of the woman’s work in the home, and replaced it with a false sense of dignity of the woman, well, doing as she pleases. Following what some call dreams. Following what some call her heart. In fact, the devil has so distorted our sense of what is good, right and true, that many believers do not even associate the word “work” with a woman’s homemaking at all. That is how perverse we have become. That is how unknowledgeable.
But look at this; the woman is taught to attach weight to some personal pursuit, let’s say the dream of looking down a microscope one day. But it is in part those very so-called dreams which have left the family in western Christendom in rubbish; nearly everyone puts off marriage. Both partners pursue careers. Then they hand what very few children they’ve had over to strangers to be raised, and pass this selfish pattern on to their next generation. I mean look into the microscope there and see if you can see that. Look really close. Destroying the woman’s dignified and noble role in the home has been a part of destroying the family. It can’t ALL be blamed on atheists you know. It can’t all be blamed on single mothers and drug addicts. Look hard enough into that microscope and you’ll see perhaps how empty these career dreams are. What little they come to in the end.
So I’m asking everyone here to reconsider what their value system is. I’m asking the men reading this to take the helm of their own families, or future families, and make sure they follow the biblical pattern, not the modern one. I’m asking those women out there to dwell on, meditate on, and see the full value and richness in being keepers of the home. Then to hand in notice at work, and return to their crucial roles as keepers of the hearth. It will be like returning to that land which God has promised us. In Torah it is the physical territory of Eretz Israel. In Yeshua, it is our dwelling in His eternal Body. In the restoration of our families, it is of what we speak, the richness and life-giving presence of the wife and mother.
You know, there’s a passage in Proverbs 31, which tells us one of the many vital things that the godly woman does. It says – She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. (Proverbs 31:21) To me those words are just beautiful and mysterious words. But ask some biblical experts, and they’ll tell you what they think they mean; that this godly wife clothes her family with heavy fabrics, good for the cold of winter. We know this because the color is scarlet, and it takes these thick fabrics to hold that special scarlet dye. Well maybe that is true. Maybe that’s what it takes. It just reminds me that this life-giving woman is keeping her family clothed through all kinds of weather. And that scarlet is the color of royalty.
The Lord make the woman who is coming to your house like Rachel and Leah, the two who built the house of Israel; and may you prosper in Ephrathah and be famous in Bethlehem. May your house be like the house of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah, because of the offspring which the Lord will give you from this young woman.” (Ruth 4:11,12)
To the Restoration of the Bride:
Teachings and Some Answers
Biblical Support for Women as Homemakers — Owen Strachan goes from Genesis through New Covenant scriptures in showing how rich and deep are the biblical roots of the woman’s role in the home.
Working Women and Titus 2:5 — By Scott Coltrain
The Biblical Instructions — Biblical preacher John MacArthur briefly goes over the woman’s role as homemaker, relying primarily on the instructions in Titus and 1 Timothy. Yes, the Greek words used DO actually mean “home workers” and “to keep house.” There has not been a conspiracy of translators.
Responses to Objections — This is by the author. It responds to some common claims that the woman’s role given in the Bible is not applicable to us. I hope that it is edifying to you.
What’s She Do All Day? — Good question. And a frequent one now that homemaking is much less common. This is a list of my beloved wife’s work as a homemaker broken down by task. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have to upload a new list soon, since it will likely grow. Praise Adonai.
The Christian Wife, The Heart of the Home — This is an essay of mine going over the immeasurably valuable work of the homemaker, as well as reassuring the doubtful, or the scornful, that the work of the homemaker is both possible and relevant today. Not only that, but modern society and technology make it better than ever.
Daycare, Feminism and the Wellbeing of Children — “Extended periods of day care for young children are not in their best interests.” We’ve known this for many years. When will the Body of Messiah repent of its lifestyle feminism? This article also gets into the ideological basis behind day care and the modern career female.
Godly Wives Restore Society — Here I’ve provided 10 ways that the homemaker can be an integral part of rebuilding the community and broader society. It will be a true revolution. There’s a little 50’s humor too.
Proverbs 31 Woman and Her Latchkey Kids — Since some believers point to this passage from scripture as a pretext for women abandoning the home, I’ve gone over the godly wife passage verse by verse to see if this is true. It does in fact paint an illustration of the homemaker, albeit a unique and wealthy one, which women can emulate today.
What About all the Good? — This is my letter to a friend responding to the claim that careerism could be acceptable if it achieves an important good. In this case the alleged good is allowing the husband to pursue a low-paying ministry job. But in theory it could be something else. Choosing to ignore the homemaker role for this reason is still in conflict with scripture, and also contains a confused and myopic understanidng of “the good.”
My Wife is a…
Thriving in Your Godly Single-Income Family
Most of these pieces were not written by believers, but they have useful financial advice nonetheless.
Six Tips for Living on One Income — The title explains it all.
The Changover — This is a personalized piece about a family that changed over to a single income. It is by “a Christian mother who loves to read about how women kept home in time’s past.”
How Can a Family Survive on One Income — This short article puts special emphasis on budgeting.
The Completely Achievable Path — This article offers some excellent advice, step by step in succeeding in a change to single income.
I’m Lovin’ It — This is another personalized essay on one-income living. The author shares some stories and gets into the real nitty gritty of budgeting.
Great Links for Homemakers
Raising Homemakers — A great blog about homemaking and raising your daughters to be homemakers. It’s run by a young mother of three.
The Transformed Wife — This blog is managed by an experienced Christian wife and mother. It openly supports gender roles and modesty, including answering some of those who believe in ignoring those teachings. It speaks some clear and plain truth.
Keepers at Home Magazine — A magazine put out by Mennonites on homemaking and Christian country living. It even includes a statement regarding the roles of women. It is not free though.
I’m Raising Homemakers — A biblical womanhood website by “a wife, homeschooling stay at home mom of 5 beautiful blessings”
Proverbs 14 Blog — Another biblical womanhood blog. Beautiful quote by JR Miller, “A true wife makes a man’s life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love.”
Above Rubies: Teachings for women and articles on a wide array of subjects from adoption to hospitality and health.
Woman the Homemaker — A godly mom testifies. Part of the larger “Mom of 9’s” website.
An Interview — with the editors of “The Christian Homemakers Handbook.” They really make clear their priority is not just the home, but serving God through their role in it. It’s part of a larger biblical womanhood website.
The Way Home — Order Mary Pride’s groundbreaking book. She was a former feminist and professional woman who returned to following God and her work in the home. Apparently homemakers also write books.
The Economic Reality of Two Incomes
The Two-Paycheck Effect — This article charts the disastrously-disappearing family savings along side the increasing number of women in the labor force. While this is not an exact description of how two incomes effect the economy and the average household, it is still evidence that two income households and disappearing savings are linked.
How the Dual Income Destroys the Lower Classes — It seems the constant claim we need a second income because we really “need the money” is more of a self-fulfilling prophesy than anything else. This author also clearly supports the natural roles given by God in the Bible.
Worse Off than Mom and Dad — More money, less buying power. That’s the two income trap.
The Two Income Trap — One of the main books detailing the economic problems caused by an abundance of two-income homes.